Learn how and why I move through multiple sleep strategies (including cosleeping) ending with independent sleep
Should you co-sleep, room share or have baby in his/her own room? Spoiler alert! I did them all, at different times, according to what was best for me and my baby during that season. There is so much stress and uncertainty surrounding baby sleep with each team certain that their strategy is best. As with most things in life the answer lies not at either extreme but somewhere towards the middle. Let me show you how I transitioned to independent sleep after cosleeping with my three kids.

Let me be clear, I am not switching the sleep strategy every night or even every week for that matter. I transition from one strategy to the next as my baby matures. Let me explain…
My Experience
I have co slept with each of my kids. After 9 months of being completely snuggled up in a warm cozy womb I welcome my babies earth side with the same warmth, comfort and security that nurtured their growth. In those first few months, I happily soak up that warmth and scent of those precious babies giving them all the contact they desire. Also importantly, I thrive on the rest that cosleeping allows for both of us.
During this time I also place my babies down for naps in their bassinet during the day. At this point their naps are short and frequent. This provides alot of opportunity to practice non contact napping without the risk of them being overtired. These short but frequent non contact naps begins to slowly teach them that this crib is another safe place for sleep. This is the first step in establishing independent sleep after cosleeping. As you will see, all your baby wants as they transition to different sleeping environments is the assurance and confidence that they are safe and secure. Shifting your mindset to the experience of a baby in a new unfamiliar world will make all the difference in your experience with your baby’s sleep.

Know Your Role
As all babies mature they have an innate desire for independence including independent sleep after cosleeping. If we observe closely we can identify those transition periods and support them through it.
Consider this, when babies start to show interest and reach for foods we offer safe foods and they begin to eat solid foods. Before they start to crawl, stand and walk we provide them a safe space for movement. They have an internal drive towards these skills of independence. Sleep is no different. Independent sleep is simply one of many transitions that we will support our children through.
Often, as parents, we give ourselves too much credit or assume too much responsibility for the maturation of our children. In reality, their development is a time tested biological process that simply requires support. And in fact, the less we intervene and the more we assume the role of supporter and supervisor our kids tend to advance through milestones more readily. Walking, for example, is best supported by allowing freedom of movement rather than the use of walkers and other supporting devices. Independent sleep is similar.
I felt a great sense of relief when I realized that I cannot make my child sleep anymore than I can make my husband sleep. My responsibilities are to observe them carefully for signs of readiness for independent sleep, provide a safe, comfortable environment that is conducive to sleep and to engage my children while they are awake so that they have expended enough energy to boost their sleep drive.
The Transition
Around 5.5-6 months I begin to observe that my baby who was once soothed to sleep by my mere presence now requires more. The hard truth is that now I am no longer enough to ensure my baby has a good night’s rest. When we both start to have consistent bad nights while cosleeping i.e. constant wakings with prolonged attempts to go back to sleep, I take this as a sign that my baby needs to transition to more independent sleep.
How I Transition from Cosleeping to Crib
After atleast 2 weeks of consistent night wakings and difficulty putting my baby back to sleep while cosleeping I am fairly certain that I need to support my little one to more independent sleep because cosleeping is no longer benefiting me or my baby. I need to provide them the opportunity to connect their sleep cycles.
I didn’t always know all this. In fact, it was because I struggled with my first daughter that I read everything possible about baby sleep. When she was 8 months old, after a few months of extremely difficult nights, I mustered up all my courage and placed her in her own room. She has slept through the night since then.
I was stunned… I was shocked and a bit confused honestly. Why wasn’t this the first thing taught in the many parenting/baby classes I had taken to prepare for my firstborn. Here’s what worked for me…
Creating the Right Sleep Environment for Baby

Does the room have to be pitch black?
I went with the darker than night approach with my first but not with my last 2. It was hard to replicate that pitch black environment at naps and bedtime. I certainly close the blinds and use black out curtains but in my experience having the room darker than night is not a must for independent sleep.
Will my child become dependent on the sound machine?
I recently decided that my 4 and 3 year olds should probably transition off the sound machine. They have been sleeping independently after cosleeping for multiple years now. My son couldn’t have cared any less about the change. He plays in his room before bed and often would fall asleep without the sound machine so it wasn’t much of a transition for him.
My daughter wasn’t excited about the idea of it. She said, “it’s too quiet!” I immediately thought “uh-oh! She’s addicted for life!” After a brief moment of panic I realized this was just a transition we had to work through. We came up with the compromised of using audio books at night instead. I set a timer to 2 hrs. At first she would fall asleep and then would wake up and notice it was off and turn it back on. But eventually she stopped turning it on once it went off.
From my experience the sound machine is useful in the early stages. It emulates the sound of the womb and blocks out ambient noises, especially if you have multiple kids. I still use brown noise with my 8 month old and have no concerns about her being addicted to it after my experience with the older kids.
What and how do I feed my baby?
Feeding that this age (5-6 months) can be tricky. At this point foods are just exploratory, breastmilk/formula remains the primary source of nutrition. In my experience, at this age, kids are also very curious, scooting about and this can make breast/bottle feeding more challenging. It can be difficult to maintain their interest in feeding during their wake windows.
Some strategies that have helped includes feeding right after waking when they’re still a bit drowsy and feeding in a quiet room with dim lights. Introduce a straw cup around this time as well so that baby can drink with a bit more mobility. It is so important to get those calories in because a hungry baby will not sleep.
Why is nursing to sleep such a big deal?
Ugh, I get it. Nothing puts a baby to sleep like nursing. Milk served at just the right temperature, the snuggles, the warmth. Sounds great to me! If you can nurse your baby to sleep and they can transition through sleep cycles…I’m jealous, do it! Every baby is different.
In my experience, when my babies fall asleep with that perfect combination of milk and snuggles, they won’t settle for less 🙂 So whenever they move through sleep cycles they want that combination and I don’t blame them. Because this mama would like to transition through some sleep cycles of her own, I offer milk and snuggles during wake windows and a warm cozy bed during bedtimes. This is the routine we transition to, these are the boundaries I set.
What do I do when baby wakes up at night?
I respond. This is so important.
Do you know what helps your baby know that their crib and room is a safe place to sleep? Knowing that if I need my mom, she will come. This is NOT a cry it out method of sleep training. When your baby cries, respond. At the start of the transition, respond immediately but maintain the boundary of returning them to their bed every time.

These are just a few of the things I remind myself of during night wakings. These help to keep me in the right frame of mind, to stay consistent and empathetic.
Sleep Transitions are Hard
Like most transitions, sleep transitions are hard emotionally. Always be empathetic and proceed with lots of grace for your baby and for yourself. Whatever strategy you choose, if it arouses anger and resentment…stop. Try again later, if it still appeals to you then.
You also don’t have to do everything at once. If you are cosleeping and wanting to transition out of it, start with the dark room and brown noise while still cosleeping, then add the 2-3 hour feedings during the day, then work on not nursing to sleep. Scaffolding the transition can make it easier on everyone, change one thing at a time.
I want to acknowledge that supporting sleep is easier when you have control over your baby’s day. You know what activities they’ve done, how tired they are, how much and what they’ve ate, what their naps were like. Supporting sleep is easier when YOU have support. Be kind to your self, honor your current situation and do what is best for you and baby at whatever the current stage is. Transitions are a constant in life, we transition through parenthood, our kids transition through sleep. Explore all options regarding sleep, knowing that you CAN enjoy the best of all the sleeping arrangements while building a foundation for independent sleep.
I am no expert, just a mom of three who hopes that my experiences can help you find abundant joy in motherhood.
Recommended Resources for Independent Sleep
- Taking Cara Babies: https://takingcarababies.com/
- I took 2 of Cara’s courses and they really helped me understand the science of baby sleep. This helped me to be more empathetic and understanding of my baby’s experience. I do not follow her approach completely but it provides a great framework that you can easily adjust to your family’s needs and beliefs.
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: https://a.co/d/aCSuKJH
- This was random find at the library that holds so much information about baby sleep. It contains similar information as Cara provides in her courses but the format provided by Cara was more easily digestible for me.
Proudly powered by WordPress